Did I spend enough time with my daughters individually today? Did I give enough attention to my dog? Did I even feed my dog? Did I call and text back everyone? Did the house look straightened up before my husband got home? Should I have done a load of laundry or two instead of taking a nap while the girls took theirs? Should I have cooked rather than ordered a pizza for dinner tonight?
Could Have. Should Have.
These are the million questions I go to bed asking myself most nights. My day is filled with chasing my girls around the house, keeping the house looking clean, making out with my husband every once in a while, keeping up with friends and family, ministry and even playing fetch with my dog. When my head finally hits the pillow I question if all that I have done was enough. I make mental notes of what I am going to do more of the next day. I feel guilty for handing my husband a baby with a dirty diaper as he walks through our door after a long day at work. I feel guilty for not spending enough time with God or for not brushing my teeth before 2pm. I even get “buyers regret” and find myself standing in the Customer Service line one too many times at Target.
The other night as I was going through my list of ” I could have done better”, I felt God say, “You did your best and that’s good enough for me. These feelings of guilt have not come from me. I am pleased with you.” I laid there with my eyes opened and just began to re think my day. Instead of ” I should have done this or that”, I was thinking, “I look forward to doing more of this or that tomorrow.” God wants us to always strive for better and to expect greater things in ourselves and each other, but He doesn’t want us to overlook all that we have been today.
What I have been dealing with is condemnation. I have been scolding myself every night for the areas I feel I have come up short rather than rejoicing in all that I have accomplished and done well. When I realized that what I felt wasn’t true guilt, but false guilt and that I was feeling like a bad mommy, wife or friend I knew that this was not coming from God. God always desires better from us and wants us to be the best person we can be, He does not accuse us. He explains and shows us how we can better ourselves. I really feel like I am not alone in this. Have you been feeling guilty lately? Have you been feeling like you are not being a good enough mom, friend, brother, co- worker or child of God? Conviction. God does desire for us to live a full life and accomplish all that He has set out for us too, but He does not condemn us, He convicts us. There is a line between condemnation and conviction and I feel like there is freedom in understanding the difference. God does not beat us up or expose our weaknesses to leave us feeling hopeless but leads us to contrition. When He convicts us he explains rather than accuses. His conviction illuminates our path instead of darkening our understanding. It leads us to Him instead of leading us away from Him. When He convicts us it feels light and right not heavy and wrong. It is not a finger pointed at us, but instead it is pointed at our sin or our issue.
I have been getting bullied and the other night I finally decided to stick up for myself. I am a good mother and so are you. I am a great spouse and so are you. I am a loyal friend and so are you. Are there areas in my life that need developing? Sure. Are there areas in my life that need maturing? Yes. But, that is up to God to show us and teach. So I am here to encourage you today and remind you, that you are enough!
TRUTH: There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. – Romans 8:1
DARE: Don’t allow yourself to be bullied today and BELIEVE that you are ENOUGH!