This morning, my 14 month old alarm clock woke me up, bright and early. Most days, I walk over to his room and we begin our day together with breakfast. He usually eats a waffle, some fruit and milk. Today, I dragged my feet and literally stumbled into his room. I was so tired!
For the past week, BJ has been working third shift at his side job. This job provides supplemental income for our family as we continue to pioneer a new church. There are some things we want to do this year and when the opportunity to make some additional income came, we jumped on it.
He has been going to work in the evenings, working through the night and coming home around 4am. He’s been resting (or sleeping, we all know there’s no real rest when your kiddos are running around the house) for a few hours, waking up to work on things for the church. We usually have dinner together and then, he does it all over again.
I’ve been holding down the home front, while serving our church and doing my best to help him rest and be his best.
ALL THIS TO SAY…
Our normal routine and rythmn we have in our home–how we balance our marriage, children, church, friends, etc has been completely thrown off, leaving this momma tired. I try to not express this exhaustion because uh, hello, my man just worked all evening long.
Our dog has pooped in our house more times in one week than he has over the past 6 years, we have had more spilled drinks, broken vases and a whole lot of melt downs! Yesterday, an entire box of cereal ended up on the floor. The entire box.
I have had to celebrate moments, take advantage of nap time to re charge and have had to be verbal about my struggles.
I was trying to avoid the “Hey honey, this week has kicked my butt!” Because I wanted to be strong and hold it down. But what I was actually doing was harboring these feelings. Simply suppressing them, only to have moments where I took them out on BJ. While I was trying to help, I was only hurting.
Sunday evening, I had a blog moment. I realized that it was OK to say, “Hey honey, this week has kicked my butt!” It was OK to be tired, even if I thought my tiredness didn’t really compare to his. So, I expressed my feelings. I shared about the vase that broke and about the explosive poopy diaper Jetty had! I also expressed what I needed from BJ. Instead of me expecting him to read my mind, I figured I let him in. (Crazy huh?! Haha)
I spoke, he listened. He spoke, I listened.
So, as I was dragging myself out of bed this morning, I stumbled on a beautiful note, written by my husband, at 4 in the morning, encouraging me! Who needs coffee after that?! I was immediately strengthened and ready to tackle the day.
Why do I share this? Sometimes, we need to ask for help, tell people what we need!! For me, that doesn’t always come easy. Perfect world, BJ would have just thought to write this incredible note days before our heart to heart. But, all he needed was to be reminded that I ain’t asking for diamonds, just a little encouragement!
We often desire people to do great/ special things for us, so much we imagine it up in our minds, only to be disappointed when they don’t get the hint. It might feel a little “unromantic” but I promise, it’s worth it. Instead of hoping your spouse will take you on a HOTT date, tell him/her you need one.
BJ and I have a great marriage! We communicate all the time, but this past week really threw us for a loop. Instead of suppressing our feelings in fear of adding to each others burdens, we chose to be open. Our openeness displayed true strength.
Are there people/ relationships in your life you are hoping would read your mind? Is there someone you need to just be vulnerable with and express what you need? If so, I encourage you to pray about it, and find a good time to express those feelings. In love, share with that person what you need. It doesn’t indicate you are weak, but that you are strong.
If you have had a long week, a crazy day or even a, “Y’all gonna make me lose my mind up in here!” moment and didn’t wake up to an encourging note… This is just for you.
Did you seriously wake up like that? Wow! You’re beautiful. I know these past few days have been tiring and even overwhelming, but you’re doing great. Better than you think and better than you feel! You are incredible and add such value to your world. That moment you had, don’t keep going over and over it in your head, move on–you’re better than that moment. It doesn’t define you, it makes you real. Instead, pick yourself back up and try again. Today is a new day… Let’s make it awesome!