Have you ever gone through a tough time and all you keep hearing is, “everything is going to be ok?” If you are anything like me, that statement only upsets me and makes me even more unhappy! I don’t know what it is about someone telling me that things are going to get better that aggravates me, but it really gets under my skin. I’d rather have people tell me that my situation stinks and that they’re glad they are not in my shoes then to just tell me “its going to be ok!”
My husband BJ and I recently moved to Greensboro, NC from Wilson, NC where we served as Masters Commission Directors and Youth Pastors at a dynamic and thriving church for 3 years. We absolutely LOVED the ministries we served in and finally felt like Wilson was becoming our home. We had great pastors, great friends, and a great church family we were beginning to do life with. This said a lot coming from the California girl who didn’t even know there was a Wilson, NC on the map! (That is another blog for another time) To make a long story short, God began to move and deal with BJ and I about our next season for our lives. He began to show us that our season in Wilson was coming to an end. We had no idea where He was going to take us or what we were supposed to do, so we did like any other “strong christian” does and we fasted for 21 days. LOL. Throughout the 21 days the only thing we heard was our stomachs growling from the lack of breads, sweets, and meat! On the last day of our fast we heard it clear as ever that we were supposed to help BJ’s parents with their church plant and move to Greensboro, NC. My in laws are some of the most amazing people I know and anyone would be blessed enough to serve under their ministry! They are anointed and relevant, serious about the things of God and know how to have fun all at the same time. Anyone who knows them falls in love with them immediately. I say all of these things because number one; I mean them with all of my heart and two; because never in a million years did we think God would call us to serve them in that capacity. We always knew we would be instrumental in their ministry, but we never thought we would move our lives and help them build their church full time.
Once we wrapped our heads around the idea of moving to Greensboro, we freaked out! Yes, even after we processed it, we still were freaking out. As we began to look at the “facts” they just didn’t add up or make much sense. At this time I still thought God made sense and that His ways somehow lined up on paper 🙂 We knew what God had spoken and we knew that this was what we were supposed to do.
A few months later we packed up our things and moved here to Greensboro! So, here we are! Like I mentioned before, moving here has not just been a step of obedience but it also has been a sacrifice for us. I figured since God knew all that we gave up, left behind, are doing without that this season was going to be smooth sailing. Ha!!! So far it has been one of the most difficult times of our lives. I would have never thought that after making a HUGE step of faith would we be in such a tough season. I guess I figured that “those” seasons were over and that now it was time to take on the world without any bumps in the road. I really have NO idea where that silly idea came from but I don’t think I am the only one who has ever thought like that.
Over the past few weeks some things have not worked out the way I had imagined they would and there are things that we have had to go through that we have never gone through before. I have cried, I have questioned our decision to move, I have questioned God, and I have asked God why? There are a few people in our lives that have known what we have been going through and it seems as though all they keep telling me is that “everything is going to be ok!” I never realized how much I do not like that phrase until these past few weeks! (Keep in mind I am not trying to be rude to the people who have said that to me, because I know that they mean it with all their hearts and that they want the best for me, so in no way is this a stab at them) I think that this phrase gets under my skin because it leaves me feeling helpless and in denial about what my current circumstances are. When someone tells me that “everything is going to be ok!” I don’t feel ok, nor do I want to feel ok. I guess it makes me feel like I am a drama queen and that I am overreacting to a situation. And maybe I am, but to me I want to know not that my situtation is going to be ok, but that there is purpose for why I am going through what I am going through.
Last night, I was listening to a podcast by Chris Hill and he talked about “the wilderness” and how important it is for us to go through the wilderness in order to receive what God has for us. He began to talk about how
“the trial and the season you are in was not meant to kill you but to promote you.”
It was like a light bulb went off in my head and suddenly, my anxiety, my fears, and my pain went away. I realized that the season that we are in has not been some sick joke God has allowed for me to go through but it is a necessary time in my life to make me stronger, more equipped, and better prepared for what He has in store for me. I know, I know, these are elementary principles, but to me it was life changing! When I workout I keep myself motivated through the pain with a mental image of me in a bikini! Picturing myself laying out on a beach with a fit body allows me to endure the running, circuit training, or whatever else it is that is kicking my butt. The same mentality is for when I am going through difficult times… knowing that I am going to be spiritually, emotionally, and mentally more fit allows me to endure the temporary situation.
My situation hasn’t changed yet, but my perspective has! I understand that my God loves me and that He is SOVEREIGN; He is above all, in all, and can do all things. What I am facing today has only been allowed to cross my path because my God sees the end. He is the only one that truly knows that “everything is going to be ok!”
I don’t know what you are facing or what you are going through, but whatever it is I’m not going to tell you that
“everything is going to be ok!”
Instead, I am going to tell you that yes, it does suck, it is a painful situation, but whatever it is, you will come out on the other side, stronger, wiser, cuter, more able than you have ever been because what you are going through was not sent to destroy you, but to make you BETTER!