I love these girls with all of me… My life has been forever changed… In fact as I grabbed my coffee and began to type, my oldest daughter (by one minute) Kennedi Ila Johnson, started squirming and needed me to change her diaper. I was glad too.. having a healthy little girl who needs my attention makes my heart overflow with joy. I still can not believe she is mine…still can’t believe THEY are mine. Brooklyn Elysse Johnson is sound asleep on her BOPPY, which she loves! Ok, now Kennedi wants to eat..didn’t I just feed her? I think I did, but these days they do a lot of that. So feeding her is what I’ll do, then little sister will probably want to eat too, so I will continue this BLOG in a few hours or even a few days. However long it takes me to finish it, I’m ok with that…I have two great excuses!
*******************24 hours, 16 feedings, 20 diapers, endless kisses and hugs later****************
I cant not believe it has been 8 weeks since I gave birth to two perfectly healthy little girls. I remember like it was just yesterday that my water broke. In fact, about 4 hours before my water broke, BJ and I were talking about 2011 and talking about what we felt it was going to be for our family. As we talked, God lead us to a scripture we have heard many times, but this time I read it in the MESSAGE translation… Here is what it says…
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.
Isaiah 43 MSG
4 hours before I went into labor, this is the scripture we read and declared for our family for 2011. Wow! Many of you have kept up with our journey this past year through my blog…so you know that it hasn’t been the easiest year for us as a family. We have been through a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows. In fact, a year ago today, we were pregnant with our first pregnancy where we lost the baby…that was a low… a few months later, that April, we found out we were pregnant…with TWINS…that was a high… I would have to say that there have been more trials than victories in 2010. It was a year filled with uncertainty, heart break, isolation… it was our wilderness. We were ready for a fresh year, a new start, and we embraced that scripture, believing God was going to do something new! And He did… about 15 hours later, two PROMISES came true… On December 30th, I gave birth to TWO healthy little girls. But God didn’t wait for the big apple to drop in New York, He brought me my promises at the end of the hardest year of my life.
On the way to the hospital, I was asked God, why He was choosing to give me these babies so soon? I was only 34 1/2 weeks pregnant and the doctors told us that the ideal week to labor with twins is 36 weeks…so I had some time…it was as though He was right in that car with me, I heard Him say, ” Sarah, I am doing a NEW thing in you and BJ, but I am not willing for you to believe that everything you have endured this past year was in vain. This past year was simply the process to your PROMISE and instead of considering this year your worst year yet, you will know it as the BEST year of your life for as long as you live!” I was speechless and yet so full of words, as BJ and I were filming the drive to the hospital, wanting document every moment of this amazing experience.
A few hours later, the doctor let me know that one of the babies, Baby B, (Brooklyn) was no longer head down and that unless she turned we would not be able to deliver her naturally. Another factor was, I was not dilated… my cervix was completely closed. We had our heart set on a natural delivery but after talking with the doctors we felt it was in the best to deliver via C Section. The nurse said to me in that moment, “Sarah, you are doing the right thing, if you were to decide to attempt a natural delivery, we would give you medication to INCREASE the amount and the intensity of your contractions. In order for your body to labor, it must experience pain.”
uh HELLO!!! That spoke right to me. Pain is the very thing that causes us to labor and deliver the promises of God that are inside of us! Our bodies respond to pain by preparing a vessel to deliver. In the same way, God allows pain and trials in our life to prepare a vessel where His promises can come to pass.I don’t know what pain you are enduring, what trials you are walking through, but know they are not meant to break you, but position you. God’s promises to us will come to pass. They came to pass for me. And although my body did not labor, my body experienced a BURSTING OUT!!! I love how the middle of that scripture in Isaiah says, “it is bursting out.” It makes me laugh knowing that the NEW thing that God did that day literally bursted out of me… twice!
My cervix never dilated, which tells me that my body was not ready to “labor.” The doctors explained that there were a lot of women who went into labor that morning because of their water breaking due to the change in the ” barometric pressure.”Before and during a storm it actually “tugs” or creates a suction on the amniotic sac and can persuade it to rupture. It had snowed the days leading up to that day and because of it there was a change in pressure which caused me to go into labor early. Although my body wasn’t ready to labor, God was ready for some things to come bursting out in my life. What pressures are you facing today? What things are you praying about that you want God to step in and pull out of you? Whatever it is, do not avoid the pressure that you are feeling, instead embrace it.
That evening, I gave birth to two healthy baby girls! There was absolutely nothing wrong or premature about them. In fact, the doctors went on and on about how impressed they were with their health. I owe that all to God. He knew what He was doing when He allowed me to deliver my girls almost 6 weeks before their due date. For He was doing something new in me! My life has not been the same since… and it will never be. My heart is full. I am so glad I chose to TRUST Him through this process. I am so glad I didn’t have to know what I know now then in order to trust Him with all of me….
BJ always says, “What God does in the natural, God does in the supernatural.” I believe the Lord spoke to me through this process of pregnancy to demonstrate how He works and operates in our lives. He has my best in mind…He has your best in mind…
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over.